Christian Marriage Part3, The Church Wedding
Central Thought: Don’t allow wedding bills drown out your wedding bells.
Hymn: When We Walk With the Lord
Text: John 2:1-10
In our text Jesus honored the marriage invitation by gracing the occasion with His physical presence and performing His first miracle there. The Church blessing/wedding concludes all the preparations towards Christian marriage. Until this is done an intending couple cannot relate as husband and wife. Preparing for a wedding has been compared to reading for a trip into the unknown. The wedding dress, venue, invitation cards, wedding cake, drinks, rings, handling of guests, etcetera need to be carefully set as a compass pointed toward new territory. In doing so, we must be guided by the word of God and experience of those brethren who have done it before. This is so because when it comes to the preparation and execution of wedding programs much can be learned from the Bible and experience of others. This will help to avoid some mistakes so that all things can be done decently and in order to the glory of God. In this study, we shall be looking at an ideal Christian wedding.
Lesson Objectives:
- To know the meaning of Church blessing/wedding.
- To appreciate the need to minimize cost of a Church wedding.
- To know how to overcome challenges that may arise while preparing for a wedding.
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What is the relevance of the church blessing/wedding in Christian marriage?
It is an occasion when you officially and publicly declare to all in the presence of God and the host of heaven that you are now legally married to your partner. According to Christian doctrine, marriage is a sacrament that can only be received if both husband and wife are born again and baptized in the church.
To a Christian, marriage seems much more significant when celebrated in church. Consider the atmosphere, the wedding service the sermon, the prayers, the hymns, the signing of the marriage register, the solemn occasion, and the joyful occasion with relatives, friends and well-wishers around you. A Christian who goes into marriage with Church blessing or wedding ceremony denies himself of the prayers of the saints and other blessings derivable there from.
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What advice do you have for an intending Christian couple who cannot afford an elaborate wedding ceremony? Romans 12:16-17; Philippians 4:6
An intending Christian couple who cannot afford an elaborate wedding ceremony has several options. They could opt for the Church blessing on any day of the week of their choice. What is required is the presence of the Pastor, Church leaders, the couple, their parents and few witnesses. The wedding could also be conducted during normal Church service. In all these, costs associated with printing the invitation cards, hiring a hall, entertainment of guests, wedding cake and many more may be avoided. Once the bride price has been paid, they could do civil marriage at the Registry and go for the church blessings.
We must bear in mind that preparing for a wedding does not equal being prepared for marriage. Some couples spend more times and other resources preparing for their weddings than they do for their marriage. This is an error. Wedding is an event, but marriage is a lifelong activity. Even when a couple opts for outright wedding, they should scale down the expenses to the level of financial resources available.
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Is it proper for a Christian to borrow in order to satisfy requirements for the wedding ceremony? Romans 13:8A. What are the dangers?
A wedding, which is normally once in a lifetime; if not properly handled, can take an incredible toll on emotions, family relationships and personal finances. Every wedding comes with the temptation to over-spend. Since weddings happen only once in a lifetime, it is easy to justify one’s desires. It doesn’t matter whether you plan to pay for your own wedding of your parents or others have offered to foot all or part of the bill, there is the need to plan properly. It is improper to go into debt just o impress anybody. Some people you want to impress will laugh at you when you run into crises as a result of your inability to pay the debt. We must not organize a wedding as if it is an opportunity to make a statement about the net worth of the bride or bridegroom’s family. Never borrow with the mind to pay from the proceeds of the program. Most of the people who did that ended up being disappointed. Avoid the temptation of being life others. Set an upper limit on what is to be spent on the wedding and stick to it. It is possible to have a colorful reception that is not extravagant. List out everything you expect to spend money on. If you are not sure about what something will cost, don’t hesitate to ask people that know. Remember that you have never done this before. Based on this upper limit, identify which items in the wedding budget are necessities and those that could be eliminated or scaled down. Some of the dangers associated with debt acquired to satisfy wedding needs are frustrations, disharmony in the new home, starvation, quarrelling and at times marriage breakup.
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Should Christians wear a wedding gown that exposes her nakedness? Discuss
It is so unfortunate that some ladies wear dresses that expose their bodies on their wedding day.
The major purpose of clothes including wedding gowns is to cover our nakedness. Any cloth that cannot fulfill this objective should be discarded. Church and Church leadership should be bold to demand to see the wedding gown of the bride before the wedding day or ask the bride that displays her nakedness to go home and dress properly. This will act as a deterrent to the upcoming brides
In addition, the couple should ensure that those in their bridal train are properly dressed.
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What is the place of court registry/wedding in the Christian marriage process?
Civil marriage in Nigeria is very important because it is recognized by law and also serves as an evidence of a marriage contract between the couple. It is very necessary to get the marriage registered with the Local Government where one resides or where it will be solemnized.
Obtaining a marriage certificate is one thing one must not forget when planning to get married legally. The marriage certificate is a document issued by the Federal Government that certifies the act of marriage, date, time and place where the marriage was solemnized.
The certificate is a proof that one is legally married to another. While applying for passport, visa, and other legal activities, marriage certificate may be required. There are even chances of marriage disputes in certain cases, and the marriage certificate can be a very strong proof of the fact that the marriage was legally contracted.
Where one of the spouses is working abroad and wants the partner to come over, the marriage certificate is one of the major requirements to obtain a visa.
For transfer of property or the custody of kids in cases of separation, the court will require the marriage certificate.
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Is it proper to wed without parental consent?
One of the deepest needs of would-be couples is to receive their parents’ consent/blessing. Rebecca received the blessing of her parents and family members in the process of getting married to Isaac, Genesis 24:57-60.
Therefore facing a parents’ disapproval of a marriage may be one of the most difficult situations one can face. Here the intending couple is trapped between hurting themselves and honoring and obeying their parents as required by God, Exodus 20:12.
If the ground of their objection is that you are a Christian and the person you want to marry is not a believer, then they have a biblical ground for their objection, 2 Corinthians 6:14. In this case, it is God that you are contending with not just your parents. If their ground of objection is on non-essentials to our Christian faith such as tribe, social status, height, size, education, church denomination, etc., then there is need to pray and dialogue with your parents while patiently awaiting their consent. Also, it is needful for the would-be couple to carry their congregations along in such circumstances.
With prayers, proper explanations and patience, they are likely to win them over. While it is not proper for a child to wed without parental consent, it is also not proper for parents to disrespect their children’s opinion because for selfish purpose. In all, the will of God must be allowed to prevail.
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Is separation or divorce advisable after wedding? Matthew 19:6a
Marriage is a lifelong relationship never to be broken except by death. Separation and or divorce are not the will of God. The Scriptures state clearly that God hates divorce, Malachi 2:16. Once a man and a woman have been joined together, separation or divorce is no longer advisable. For it is written, “what God has joined together, let no man put asunder”, Matthew 19:6. Today many persons are putting forward “sound” arguments why they should divorce their partner. The word of God is absolute and not subject to man’s opinion. All marriages have their own challenges. It behooves on each couple to work on their marriage to make it work. Separation and or divorce should not be contemplated or planned for among Christian couples.
Daily Living Application:
We are expected to honor God throughout the process of getting married. This will guarantee God’s blessings and serve as an example to others.
Christian wedding is a serious business. We are to be faithful to God both in the planning and execution of our wedding program. We are not to displease our God or endanger the marriage itself in the course of planning or executing our wedding. While the wedding is a one day ceremony, the marriage is a lifelong relationship. The couples are therefore advised to prepare more for the marriage than for the wedding. For it is written, “whether therefore ye eat, or drink or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God”, 1 Corinthians 10:31.
Memory Verse:
Hebrews 13:4 – “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.”