CENTRAL THOUGHT
The Holy Spirit helps believers to handle hurts and offences.
TEXT: MATT.18:21-35
INTRODUCTION:
In human relationships, it is commonly said that no one is an island. In every sphere of life, there is always interaction among people. In the process of interacting with one another, hurts and offences may likely arise. These are inevitable in human existence and interaction no matter how much we try to avoid them. It is only by the help of the Holy Spirit that we can handle hurts and offences as we encounter them in our daily living.
In this study, we shall be looking at how we can successfully handle hurts and offences we encounter in our relationships with others.
LESSON OBJECTIVES
- To discuss if there are hurts or offences that cannot be forgiven.
- If there are limits to the number of times one should forgive.
- How we ought to handle someone who keeps hurting or offending us.
- Highlight the consequences of not forgiving hurts and offences.
BIBLE TRUTH:
QUESTION 1) ARE THERE HURTS AND OFFENCES THAT CANNOT BE FORGIVEN? DISCUSS (MATT.18:21-30).
There are no hurts or offences that cannot be forgiven. The Lord Jesus is our model as far as forgiveness is concerned. He has instructed us that we should forgive any hurt or offences that are inflicted on us no matter how grievous that may seem. He showed examples of forgiveness all through His sojourn here on earth. At the cross just before His death, He prayed to God saying “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
The Lord Jesus went on the cross so that we can be forgiven when we come to the Father for repentance. The Lord Jesus likened the kingdom of heaven unto a certain king who decided to take account of his servants. In the process, one of his servants who owed him so much was brought before him. The servant pleaded with his master to be patient with him that he would pay all that he owed him. Moved with compassion, the master forgave him all his debt. Unfortunately, the same servant refused to forgive his fellow servant who owed him far less than he owed his master. God expects us to show compassion to fellow men and forgive them when they hurt or offend us. In the Lord’s prayer, He taught us to forgive others their trespasses, as we seek God’s forgiveness of our own trespass. Matt.6:12, 14, 15.
QUESTION 2) ARE THERE LIMITS TO THE NUMBER OF TIMES ONE SHOULD FORGIVE? (LUKE 17:1-4)
There are no limits to the number of times one should forgive. We must be ready and willing to forgive at all times whenever we are hurt or offended, and such offenders ask for forgiveness. The Lord Jesus said “Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.” (Luke 17:3-4). It is not good to keep record of offences. Once such matters have been dealt with, there should be no need to refer to them in subsequent times or situations.
Peter asked the Lord Jesus how often his brother will sin against him and he forgives him, whether he should forgive him till seven times, but “Jesus saith
unto him, I say not unto thee, until seven times; but until seventy times seven” (Matt.18:21-22). It will be difficult if not impossible to get someone offending another person seventy times in one day.
QUESTION 3) HOW WOULD YOU HANDLE SOMEONE WHO KEEPS HURTING OR OFFENDING YOU?
Sometimes, we come across people who keep hurting or offending us without showing any remorse, even when the hurt or offence is known to them and is evident to them that they have done something wrong. In such situations, the best thing to do is to first pray that God gives one the grace to withstand the negative effects arising from such situations through the power of the Holy Spirit. Furthermore, we are admonished in Scripture (Matt.18:15-17) to bring the issue to the attention of the offender. If he refuses to listen, go to him with another believer, and if he refuses to listen to both of you, the matter should be brought to the attention of the church. In addition, pray for the offender that God will touch his heart to realize the wrong he is doing. There should be no room for bitterness. “Let all bitterness, and wrath, anger….be put away from you, with all malice” (Eph.4:31). Love is another strong weapon that should be applied. The Bible tells us that love is patient and kind and does not keep a record of wrongs. We must continue to overlook and endure because love will cover the multitude of sins.
QUESTION 4) WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES OF NOT FORGIVING HURTS AND OFFENCES? (MATT.18:31-35).
There are grave consequences of not forgiving hurts and offences. We will only be forgiven when we forgive others. The Lord Jesus said “For if ye forgive men and their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will father forgive your trespasses” (Matt.6:14-15). Unforgiveness can make us to lose what benefit we have already received. In the story of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:31-35, we saw that although the master had compassion on him and forgave him of all the debt he owed his master, when the wicked servant went and met one of
his fellow servants who owed him a small amount, he grabbed him, insisting that he should pay him what was owed him. The servant pleaded with him to be patient with him but he refused. His fellow servants were not happy at his actions, so they went and reported him to the master. “And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him. So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.” (Matt.18:34-35). Also, unforgiveness can prevent our prayers from being answered (1 Pet.3:7), and there’s the likelihood of not being with God in eternity.
DAILY LIVING APPLICATION:
Hurts and offences are common features in human relationships and are almost unavoidable. The way we handle such hurts and offences when they occur will be determined by how much of our lives we have yielded to God through the workings of the Holy Spirit that indwells in us as believers.
Let us therefore, learn to forgive others, not because they deserve it but we need the peace that comes with forgiveness.
MEMORY VERSE:
MATTHEW 6:15
“But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses”.
DAILY DEVOTIONAL GUIDE:
Mon: Christ’s prayer on the cross: Luke 23:34
Tue: We are to forgive others: Matt 6:12, 15-16.
Wed: Examine Matt.18:15-17.
Thu: Any limits to forgiveness? Matt.18:21-22; Luke 17:3-4.
Fri: Effect of unforgiveness in the home: 1 Pet.3:7.
Sat: Meditate on Matt.18:31-35.