Responsibilities of the Man in Marriage, April 24, 2016
Central Thought: Uphold God’s principles and standard in marriage.
Hymn: When We Walk With the Lord
Text: Ephesians 5:21, 23-33
Marriage is a serious business which involves the union of two people who have consciously considered the probable challenges and joys of sharing their lives together by surrendering themselves to each other for mutual benefits. After the wedding and honeymoon experiences, the couple should settle down to face the reality of their marriage life together. What actually becomes of the marriage is a function of how well the parties involved face their God-given responsibilities in the home. Marriage, like salvation, must be “worked out with fear and trembling.” It is God’s expectation for man to live joyfully with the wife whom he loves, all the days of their lives together, Ecclesiastes 9:9.
In this study therefore, we shall be looking at the responsibilities of the man in making a successful Christian home, in an age where people strive for their privileges and rights only.
Lesson Objectives:
- To explain the responsibilities of the man in the marriage.
- To explain the concepts ‘leaving’ and ‘cleaving’ as commanded by God to man.
- To explain man’s responsibilities toward his children.
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What do you understand by ‘leaving’ and ‘cleaving’ as commanded by God to man? Genesis 2:24
The two terms should be viewed as an inspired declaration which forms the basis and law of marriage. It points to a unity of two persons involving conjunction of bodies, a community of interest and reciprocity of affections. To leave connotes a priority change on the par to the husband (the man). The leaving would mean not only leaving parents but the entire family control and former ways of living. Some cherished relationships also have to be sacrificed for the new union; some friends, habits and routines should be parted with. The cleaving together must be functional and not merely cosmetic. They have to behave essentially as one person – oneness in actions. Activities, owning and using things as well as in planning and the execution of such plans, Amos 3:3. For a successful home, there must be a leaving and a cleaving, by the man and the woman.
God, the Author of the marriage institution, is able to guide the couple as they look up to Him. Both partners can then make decisions, and have the opportunity to learn from their own mistakes and move ahead without undue interferences.
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Explain the following responsibilities of the man towards his wife.
–Loving Her as Christ Loves the Church, Ephesians 5:25-29: A husband has the responsibility of giving self and sacrificial love to his wife at all times just as Christ give to His church. According to 1 Corinthians 13, this kind of love is patient, kind, never haughty or selfish or rude, does not demand its own way, does not hold grudges, etc. This Christ kind of love, when lavished on a wife by her husband, will enhance her submission to him. Both partners should always look up to Christ, when there are any challenges in the home.
–Feeding, Caring and Bearing Her Burdens, 1 Timothy 5:8: As the head of the home, the man has been entrusted with the responsibility of providing the basic necessities of life for his wife and members of the family. He should care for the spiritual, physical, material, emotional, etc. needs of his wife. The husband should remember that she is the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. He must be found to be making effort to provide the needs of his home. The wife is just a ‘help meet’, a helper, even if she brings in the greater resources which must be properly appreciated; this will encourage her to do more.
–Pastoring Her and Providing Leadership as the Head, Ephesians 5:23: the husband is the head of his home; consequently, he is to provide leadership for all members of the family. A leader is to lead by example (servant-leadership). He is to lead the home as the pastor, a ‘driver’ of all projects, programs and activities of the family. He is to monitor the spiritual health of the family by having in place a functional family altar. The wife is the assistant and not the reverse.
–Honoring and Protecting Her, 1 Peter 3:7: the husband is to pay due honor to the wife because she is a joint-heir with him of eternal life. It is his responsibility to honor, praise and please his wife, 1 Corinthians 7:33. Give her due recognition at all times, protect her both within and without the home, and shield her from any embarrassment being planned against her.
–Not Bitter Against Her but Forgiving Her, Colossians 3:19, Ephesians 4:31-32: Husbands should love their wives with the same type of love with which they love their bodies, Ephesians 5:28; then there will be no bitterness.
Love makes us overlook the shortcomings of others. Forgiveness is divine, so husband – learn to forgive your wife, for there is no perfect person. See less of her shortcomings and see more of her good deeds.
–Being Faithful to Her, Proverbs 5:18-19: God hates covenant breakers. No matter the present state of the wife, he is to remain faithful to her and be ravished with her body. “Let your fountain be blessed and rejoice with the wife of your youth.” Avoid treacherous dealings; be faithful to her in the use of resources, and other endowments at your disposal as a family.
–Conjugal Duty, 1 Corinthians 7:3: “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence…”; this refers to the husband respecting the sexual needs of his wife and meeting them accordingly. Sex in marriage is pure, holy and ordained of God. It is a marital right, not be used to punish or reward each other. The man has no exclusive power over his body but the wife does and vice versa. Man, you should treat your wife with the honor and love, not merely as a sexual object, 1 Thessalonians 4:4-5. Make your wife feel the pleasure of the sexual act at all times because it is for mutual benefits. Sex is an act only permitted in marriage. Any form of sexual act outside the marriage relationship is a sin.
–Please and Listen to her, 1 Corinthians 7:33: Marriage gives strength and companionship. In Genesis 2:18, God said, ‘it is not good that man should be alone’. Adam could not effectively communicate with other creatures in the garden. The coming of Eve solved that problem for him. The husband should please keep the channel of communication open between himself and his wife. They should learn to talk together over a very wide range of issues; allowing her to express herself and be fully attentive to her. As her head, listen to her mistakes and make your comments in love., it smooths out the relationship.
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What are the responsibilities of the man towards the children? Proverbs 22:6, 13:24, 22:15, 23:13-14; Galatians 6:4
Fathers have several responsibilities towards their children as given in the scriptures. It is the responsibility of a father to train up his children in the way they should go. The words “Train up” mean to “hedge up” or “hedge in”. It is like building a fence around a child and involving the child and the Bible at the center place. The Bible will guide him in the ‘way he should go’. Parents should teach their children in love, Colossians 3:21, teach them God’s word, Deuteronomy 6:7, 31:12-13, provide their needs, 2 Corinthians 12:14; 1 Timothy 5:8, govern the child with authority, 1 Timothy 3:14, chastise the children when necessary, Proverbs 13:24, 19:18, monitor and censor their activities, Proverbs 29:15. Avoid partiality in your dealings with the children, 1 Timothy 5:21, Genesis 25:28. Children should be taught how to respect people especially elderly people. Fathers have the responsibilities to pray for, protect, and defend their children, Exodus 2:1-2, John 10:11-13, Nehemiah 4:14. God will help him to save his children, Isaiah 49:24-25.
Daily Living Application:
As the head of the home, the man’s attitude towards the wife and children should be on of love and of a good role model in all aspects of life. The man should position himself in the family as the confidant, brother, father, ‘mother’, and counsel to his wife. Wives earnestly desire tender love, praise, and honor from their husbands, so men lavishly provide these ingredients for a happy marriage. A husband should provide a conducive platform for his wife to fully harness her potentials for a happy home. Stand in the gap for your wife and children.
Memory Verse:
Colossians 3:19 – “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.”