Responsibilities of the Woman in Marriage
Central Thought: A woman’s joy is the stability of her home.
Hymn: When We Walk With the Lord
Text: Ephesians 5:222-24; Proverbs 31:10-31
The family is an institution that is of great importance to God. The scriptures reveal God’s original plan for it and how it should be preserved to continue to fulfill that plan. The family comprises the man, woman and children/wards. The woman occupies a unique position in the family set-up. Her responsibilities include that of a wife, a helpmeet/partner, a companion, an adviser, a home builder/keeper, a manager of resources, a nurse/health officer, and a mother who takes care of the children and other members of the family. The stability or otherwise of any marriage depends to some extent on the woman. Her responsibilities in the family are so important that her absence at any time is felt both by her husband and the children. Therefore we cannot over emphasize the responsibilities of the woman in a home.
Lesson Objectives:
- To understand what is involved in a wife being submissive to her husband.
- To highlight the responsibilities of the woman towards her husband and children.
- To know the attitude of a Christian woman towards an unbelieving husband.
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What is involved in a wife being submissive to her husband? Ephesians 5:22-25, 33; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6
At creation God made the woman out of the rib of the man. It was the Man (Adam) that gave name to the woman; she plays the complementary role in his life. In Genesis 3:16 God declared, “your desire shall be to you husband and he shall rule over you”.
Submission becomes easier when the woman recognizes her God-given position and responsibility at home. The woman graciously and willingly submits when she properly maintains such position. Submission does not go alone. She is to be loved and cared for, Ephesians 5:33. The woman needs not challenge the husband’s headship and authority but she responds in godly submission. She should submit herself unto her own husband, be in subjection and obedient with sobriety as unto the Lord not as the situation demands but as God commands. Furthermore, she should be self-controlled and pure, busy at home, kind and subject to her husband, so that no one will malign the word of God.
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Read Proverbs 31:10-31 and explain further the following responsibilities of the wife:
-Moral character and trustworthiness, v. 10-11: “A good wife is her husband’s pride and joy, but a wife who brings shame to her husband is like a cancer in his bones”, Proverbs 12:4 (Good News). When a woman is upright and trustworthy her husband and household will be proud and joyful and their home will be peaceful.
-Industrious and hardworking, v.14, 16, 25 & 27: A godly woman is hardworking, strong and respected. She is industrious and not afraid of the future. She is always busy and looks after her family’s needs. She does not eat the bread of idleness; rather she diligently works with her hands to keep the home in order.
-A good home keeper/builder, v. 15, 27; Titus 2:4-5: “Every wise woman buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands”, Proverbs 14:1. A godly woman has the ability to coordinate her home in all circumstances. She makes sure there is food on the table and knows the family’s needs.
-Generous, hospitable and charitable, v. 20: “she stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” A godly woman has an open hand; she is hospitable and loves people around her. She foresees the needs of others and seeks to proffer solutions; be it spiritual, physical, martial, material, etc. without dissimulation and discrimination. She looks up to God’s sufficiency to fulfill this.
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What should be the attitude of a Christian woman whose unbelieving husband does that does any of the following?
-Persecutes her for her faith in Christ. Matthew 5:44
She should ‘rejoice and be exceeding glad for great is her reward in heaven’. Persecution is the result of Christian commitment and a proof of one’s faith and love for God. In this circumstance, persecution is to be expected, and could serve as the refiner’s fire, resulting in the growth and maturity of the Christian woman. She should not quit, but prayerfully trust God who is able to deliver her from all temptations. God will keep her in the hour of persecution. She should show him the love of Christ till he embraces God’s saving grace.
-Forces her to worship other gods. Acts 4:19
God’s word is totally against worshipping other gods. Exodus 20:1-5 says, “…thou shalt have no other gods before me… nor make unto thee any graven image…nor bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.” The woman should choose to “obey God rather than man”, Acts 4:19, and whatever comes her way she should trust God and know that He is able to keep her.
-Marries another wife or follows other women:
The woman should not quit the marriage, rather with wisdom pray and patiently wait on God, for ‘a wise woman builds her house’, Proverbs 14:1. She doesn’t have to go on fighting physically but on her knees until god gives her victory.
-Does not care for her anymore. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14
There was attraction on both sides that brought about the marriage. When the attraction fades, the woman should demonstrate love towards the husband and tackle it prayerfully. Counseling from more matured believers should also be sought to keep her faith stronger. She should know that Christ’s love for her is worth more than earthly care and hold on to Him. She should also know that God is with her no matter the situation, He will see her through.
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What is the wife’s obligation to her husband in matters of sex? 1 Corinthians 7:3-6
The scriptures say that the couple should render due benevolence to each other. Sex in marriage is the apex of love, unity, and the extent of the couple’s relationship depends largely on their sexual life. Misunderstanding and misinterpretation of words and actions are easily overlooked and offences are forgiven. Married couples have no right to deny themselves the right of sexual pleasure, 1 Corinthians 7:5.
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Point out the responsibilities of the woman to her children.
The most powerful tool in shaping the lives of children is the example to which they are exposed; thus ‘attitudes are caught, not taught’. The scripture records that “Ahaziah did evil in the sight of the Lord and walked in the way of his father and in the way of his mother…”, 1 Kings 22:53. In like manner Moses, Samuel and Timothy were positively affected by the lives of their mothers. The woman should endeavor to inculcate Godly values to the children first before the struggle for education and other needs. She should be firm in teaching, encouraging, correcting, etc., 2 Timothy 3:16, to deliver them from the untoward evil practices
Daily Living Application:
God’s will for every family is that they have a peaceful, joyful home. This is attainable if we allow the Holy Spirit to work in us and prayerfully build the walls of our homes with commitment in service to God. God expects the woman to submissively accept the God ordained leadership role of her husband and maintain her own role with wisdom in obedience to God’s commandment. Genuine submission of the wife will provoke the husband to much love; he will cherish her as Christ does for the church.
Memory Verse:
Ephesians 5:22 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”