Responsibility of Children in the Home
Central Thought: Children are a blessing from God to honor, obey and live in harmony with their parents.
Hymn: My Faith Looks Up to Thee
Text: Ephesians 6:1-9; Proverbs 22:6
Children in the home constitute a part of the nuclear family. They are gifts from God unto their parents, and could also include biological children or adopted children. They could include other people’s children living in the home – that is, as maids, servants, etc. – from cradle. They are to be loved, cared for, trained and “polished after the similitude of a palace”, Psalm 144:12.
Children have their role to play. They are to obey their parents, honor and respect them; because they are subject by God’s command to their parents’ authority in the home. That authority is God-given; and is not to be flouted. Children who honor their parents are blessed, even physically, while those who rebel and ignore their parents end up miserably.
However, conflicts between parents and children are to be expected in every home but with good management the parents would ensure that the harmony and peace in the home are not broken. Often, generation gaps are usually pinpointed as the cause of this conflict but its main source stems from the fact that biblical principles are not strictly adhered to in the home.
Lesson Objectives:
- To highlight the primary obligation of children to their parents.
- To enumerate the role of children in the home.
- To examine how conflicts can be resolved between parents and children.
- To enumerate the parental duties toward children.
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What are the primary responsibilities of children to their parents? Ephesians 6:1-3
God specifically assigned authority of an overseer to parents and as such, children are under obligation to respect that God-given authority. Paul declares, “It is right for children to obey their parents.”
Some of the reasons why children should obey their parents are:
-When children obey their parents, they are obeying God. For parents are placed to have authority over their children for their own good.
-Parental authority ensures the security and safety of children. Obedient children enjoy guidance from their parents, which enables them to avoid situations that may endanger their spiritual and physical wellbeing. Obedient children rarely learn things the hard way and they are spared of many hurts and heartaches in life.
-When children obey their parents, they in turn will earn the respect of their children.
1B. At what age does a child cease to fulfill these responsibilities to their parents?
It will be difficult to pinpoint a chronological age when a child can stop his God-given responsibilities to his or her parents.
However, this command of God that a child should honor his/her father and mother is not limited to the time the child is still subject to parents alone. The honoring of father and mother should continue long after the child has become an adult; and is no longer under the direct control of his/her parents. It is only then that the child can be fulfilling the command of God, 1 Timothy5:4 NIV/Amplified.
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How can a child practically demonstrate obedience and respect for his or her parents?
Jesus upheld God’s commandment that a child should obey and honor their father and mother, Matthew 15:3-6. He condemned the practice of the Scribes and Pharisees of old that replaced the law with their tradition and allowed children who did not want to support their parents, to use tradition as an excuse to evade the law. A child who fails to honor parents is devoid of wisdom, Proverbs 10:1.
A child who is told to do things in the home – e.g. cooking, washing the cars, sweeping, clearing the lawns, etc. – and dutifully carries these chores out has obeyed the parents. When a child responds positively to the training he/she is sent to, e.g. going to school, and comes out good in his area of specialization, such has brought glory to God and honor to his parents. A child that honors his parents is blessed.
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Consider the place of the following in bringing up a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
-Instructions and admonition. Hebrews 12:5, 7, 11; Proverbs 13:24
The dictionary defines instruction as act or detailed information on how to do or use something while admonition is a warning to somebody about his/her behavior. The above Scriptures give two commands to fathers. Proverbs 13:24 directs parents to avoid severity, anger, harshness, cruelty, but they should instruct by giving detailed information on how something should be done in the home and shouldn’t hesitate to give a warning to the children if they fail to follow God’s way and correct them when they go wrong. When these acts are carried out, the mind of children will be filled with wholesome discipline and instruction. This will direct them towards God and Christian living.
-Training. Proverbs 22:6
This has to do with instruction, direction, discipline etc. Parents are encouraged not to hesitate to allow the child go through the rigors of training on how to perform duties, escape dangers and to appropriate the blessing of obedience. Parents have to be prayerful and consistent in training their children in the way of the Lord, and lead them in the positive direction of life.
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How can conflicts between parents and children be curbed/minimized/
At times children do not respond in obedience to the authority in the home. Parents must endeavor to show love to their children and ensure that their children do not doubt the genuineness of their love for them. Parental love is demonstrated by the amount of time parents spend with their children and the care and concern shown towards children’s wellbeing. A good number of parents do not spend quality time nor have the patience to listen to their children and know the way they feel. Some are not concerned so much so that certain basic physical needs of their children go unattended to, while others give a picture suggesting the non-existence of affection of some kind. Parents must continually demonstrate a high sense of maturity, understanding and responsibility. Let parents give their children the opportunity to express their feelings but should insist that it is done respectfully. Also, on the part of the children, obedience and respect for their parents hold key to reducing and solving conflicts in the home. A child must not see himself or herself as having outgrown his parents in wisdom even if they are more educated than them.
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What are the blessings in obeying and respecting our parents? Ephesians 6:1-3; Psalm 25:12-14
From Scriptures, this is the first commandment with a promise. Children that obey this will have long life and it will be well with them. God teaches such a one and he receives divine guidance, becomes a friend of God, and the secrets of the Lord will be made known to him. Such a child will eat the good of the land he dwells in and whatsoever he does will prosper. He will be a vessel in the hand of God.
Daily Living Application:
Parents must not assume that children know what is right. We must devote time, effort, to teaching them all that they need to know. The joy and happiness that greets the arrival of a child into a home even in the neighborhood generally is a strong confirmation that children are indeed gifts from God and thus a blessing to the family.
When the minds of children are directed right from infancy to honor and obey their parents as spelled out in the word of God, the family and society will be better off for it. Children can be likened to plants and when tilled and tended, will grow well to maturity and yield the appropriate fruit. Hence, fulfilling parental obligations to children is paramount to achieving harmony in the home while children who honor their parents are a blessing to society.
Memory Verse.
Ephesians 6:1 – “Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.”