Central Thought: Living for the LORD in our homes brings glory to HIM and encourages others to follow HIM.
Hymn: When we walk with the Lord
Text: Matthew 5:13-16, 2 Corinthians 3:1-6, Colossians 3:17-25
Introduction:
As it is generally said, “charity begins at home”. Therefore the home and its surroundings constitute the immediate environment where the Christian practices his faith. The Christian’s attitude towards his/her spouse, children, in-laws, housemaids, neighbors reveals to what extent he/she has allowed he gospel to influence his life.
“Wives submit to your husband; husbands love your wives; children obey your parents in the LORD; servants be subject to your master; love your neighbor as yourself” etc. Ephesians 5:22, 6:1-9, Matthew 22:37. These are Biblical injunctions which the believer must keep as he demonstrates his love for God and obedience to Him. This third lesson in the series of “Living Epistles” therefore focuses on the Christian in his/her home environment. The aim is to help us understand how some issues, brought our way by our enemy (satan) to distract us from our commitment to God, can be handled so that our faith and testimony in the LORD is maintained. Generally, the Christian should understand that he must have the mind of Christ in everything. This will in no small way help him to maintain holy living in his home and environment.
Lesson Objectives:
- To know how a Christian should handle some issues in His home environment.
- To understand the implications of not showing exemplary behavior in our neighborhood.
- To know that there are blessings associated with living exemplary lives in our neighborhood.
Question 1.) What should be the believer’s attitude to the following persons or situations?
- A difficult in-law.
Experience in marriage shows that some spouses have in laws that are difficult to relate with. Such in-laws cause problems in homes in some ways. They may give negative counsel to one of the spouses who may be their son or daughter, thereby creating problems in the relationship of the particular spouse or his/her partner. Some in-laws also make unnecessary (and difficult to meet) demands on their sons/daughters in-law.
To prevent or avoid some of these problems associated with in-laws, the Christian should not be in the habit of going to tell his/her parents what happens in his/her home. There is no need going to tell your parents the amount of money your husband gives you for food or whether he buys or sews clothes for you or again whether your wife washes your clothes or greets you when she wakes up in the morning Etc. couples should learn to resolve issues between themselves and not resort to taking their matters to their parents. “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife” (Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5). Also, in dealing with difficult in-laws, the Christian should still follow the biblical injunction of “follow peace with all men, and holiness without which no man shall see the LORD” (Hebrews 12:14). Prayers are also very important and situations where in-laws become difficult must be taken to God in prayers. Finally, the Christian should ensure that he/she is not the one creating the situation making his/her in-laws difficult persons to relate with.
- Delayed Conception
A couple experiencing the trial of not having children in their marriage presently should handle the situation with wisdom understanding and prayers. The couple should show a lot of understanding towards each other. They should avoid a situation where they begin to apportion blames or join members of the family to blame or accuse the partner who is perceived to be the source of the problem.
The couple should also seek medical attention/counsel. There are some useful drugs for infertility problems. Also, knowing the exact medical condition will guide the Christian couple in their prayers.
More importantly, the Christian couple should commit the situation to God and believe His word/promises. Psalm 127:3 declares “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD, and the fruit of the womb is His reward and Psalm 128:3 also says “Thy wife shall be as fruitful vine by the sides of thine house; thy children like olive plants around bout thy table”.
With our God all things are possible. The God who blessed Abraham and Sarah; Zechariah and Elizabeth with children can and will also do it for any Christian couple today. The LORD has promised that none shall be barren in HIS house. Let us lay hold on HIS promises; believe and appropriate these promises and it shall come to pass.
- Spouse that is a flirt/dishonest a bully
A spouse who flirts is walking on a very dangerous path. The spiritual and physical implications of living in fornication or adultery are weighty. The scripture clearly states that the fornicator/adulterer/whoremonger will face the judgement of God (Galatians 5:19-21, Revelations 21:8). The LORD views the sin of fornication/adultery so seriously that He says it is a reason for which a Christian spouse may separate from a guilty partner (Matthew 19:9).
Also a spouse who flirts runs the risk of contracting AIDS and exposes his/her partner to the risk of AIDS and some other venereal diseases.
A Christian should not be involved in fornication or adultery. When a Christian spouse has evidence that his/her partner is involved in flirtation he/she should make no pretenses about the situation. He/she should be bold enough to discuss the matter with the offending partner and also pray seriously that the partner should be delivered. If the situation persists, the matter should be brought to the attention of the pastor/leader of the church/fellowship to which they belong.
It is also necessary to conclude this section by stating that couples should not deny themselves of sexual intercourse except during periods of fasting and prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5).
It is quite frustrating to have a spouse who is dishonest or who is a bully. When you have a dishonest spouse, keep praying for him/her and as an individual keep to the path of honesty. The LORD will certainly touch the heart of the offending partner. When one’s spouse is a bully, it is better to avoid situations that cause tension in the home. Make deliberate efforts to prevent such situations from arising. However, the situation too must be handled with prayers- genuine heart cry to the LORD to deliver the offending partner.
- When there is scarcity of resources (materials) at home
There are situations when in a Christian home, there may be a lack of money, food, clothing etc. at times it becomes so difficult for couples to pay school fees for children, pay rent etc. These moments of trials of faith should be handled prayerfully. Anxiety, panic, should be avoided. If any of the partner is unemployed he/she should find something doing. In such situations our hearts/attention must be focused on the LORD Jesus. He has promised us divine provision. He will always fulfill His promises. In moments of scarcity, He has always provided for His own Ex. Elijah (1 Kings 17:4-16, 19:5-6); Zarephtha widow (2Kings 4:1-7); the five thousand (Luke 9:12-17). The LORD promises to supply our need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19). In such situations, it will be good to remember the biblical admonition- “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding” (Proverbs 3:5, 6). He will bring you out of this period of scarcity.
- Stubborn and troublesome children
The desire of every Christian couple should be to bring up their children in the way of the LORD. The Bible says “Train up a child in the way that He should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). Christian parents must make efforts to pray with their children, read and study the scriptures with them and expose them to Christian fellowships and correct biblical doctrines. However, it does happen at times that children of Christian parents become stubborn and troublesome. The Christian parent should not despair; rather he/she should pray for the child. Also find out through close observation what the root cause of the stubbornness is. If it is traceable to bad company, then make efforts to separate your child from such company. There is one important thing- avoid giving an impression that your child is well behaved when in fact it is obvious to everyone that he is not. Rather be sincere about the state of your child and ask the brethren to support you in prayers. Such sincerity and openness in asking for prayers “works wonders” at the end.
- A neighbor who keeps borrowing money/things from you without paying back or returning them
This is usually a difficult situation to handle however, the Christian should honestly discuss with the neighbor and find out what the underlying problem is. Is it that the neighbor does not have the means or forgets to pay back? In some situations, some believers have been advised to give freely what they can afford to needy individuals rather than borrow to them.
Apart from borrowing money/things, some “difficult” neighbors leave all the work in a compound for the Christians to be doing ex. cutting the grass, sweeping or cleaning. It is good to find out what the neighbors problem is. If he is advised medically to avoid strenuous work then the believer should bear with him. On the other hand, if he is medically fit but keeps refusing to play his part in keeping the compound clean, the believer should keep doing what is right and keep praying for the unbelieving neighbor and hope that one day he/she will become a Christian.
- Payment of utility bills
We are admonished in the Bible to “render therefore to all their dues: custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor (Romans 13:7). A Christian should pay his/her bills.
However where a Christian landlord/landlady has a tenant who defaults in payment of rent, he/she should approach the tenant and find out what his problem is. If the tenant has a problem, the Christian landlord/landlady should bear with the tenant. If it does happen that the tenant is just obstinate or a purposeful/habitual default. The Christian landlord/landlady may be free to act within the laws of the county.
- An unbelieving spouse
This describes a situation where one of the partners is not a Christian; that is they were both unbelievers before they got married but after marriage, one party becomes a Christian. A Christian who deliberately marries an unbeliever is not the one being referred to. Such a Christian who entered into marriage disobeying God should be ready to live with whatever woes come by the marriage.
However for those in the first category described above, Paul’s injunction in the Bible is “… if any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean; but now are the holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:12-15). The instruction here is clear and that is, the Christian should not initiate divorce or dissolution of marriage because his/her spouse is not a Christian. However if the unbelieving spouse decides to quit the marriage, then the Christian is no longer under bondage.
The Christian spouse should however not deliberately make the home uncomfortable for the unbelieving spouse, such that he/she can pack away.
Question 2.) What are the implications of not showing exemplary conduct in our homes/neighborhoods?
A home that is devoid of exemplary Christian conduct by parents and children is bound to face crisis. Children will have a sense of insecurity if their parents are in the habit of fighting each other. Parents will feel frustrated if the children begin to embrace the ways of the world. When children begin to steal at home, Christian parents feel embarrassed. Peace obviously will elude a home where exemplary Christian conduct is absent. Confidence and trust will also be absent.
One grave consequence is that such a “Christian home” will be sending bad signals to their neighbors. They can never be faithful witnesses to the LORD in their neighborhood. If care is not taken such couples and their children may become “stumbling blocks” in the way of others who would have given their lives to Christ.
Question 3.) What are the benefits of living exemplary lives in the home?
Several benefits abound when we demonstrate exemplary conduct in our homes and marriages, When everyone at home live in submission to the LORD, who in fact is the Owner of the home and we learn to forgive and forbear one another, we will have HIS peace, joy, love and harmony in our homes. The LORD’s presence will be in our homes and He will shower His divine blessings of protection, provision, guidance, preservation upon us. Also when life on earth is over, we will reap the eternal benefits of having lived for the LORD in our homes on earth.
A part from the immediate benefits to the home of the believer the neighborhood where he lives also benefits from the exemplary conduct shown by believers in their homes. Peace and harmony exists in such neighborhood. The lives of the Christian parents and children become a challenge to their neighbors and may turn to the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
Daily Living Application
God has made our homes to be unique among other homes. This uniqueness is experienced and perpetuated if we fashion our lives in our homes by God’s word.
The Christian lifestyle expected of us in our homes and neighborhood is enhanced by a consistent prayer life and study of God’s word. We must put on the whole amour of God (Ephesians 6:11).
Love is the core of God’s relationship with us. He has taught us to love Him in return and to love everyone including our enemies. It is important that we deal with our neighbors in love (Matthew 22:36-40).
Finally we have lots of benefits to reap in our homes including God’s love, joy, peace, provision, protection etc. if we obey His word and live for Him in our homes and neighborhood.
Memory Verse:
2 Corinthians 3:2
“Ye are our epistle written in our hearts, known and read of all men”
Daily Devotional Guide
Monday: Husbands love your wives
Ephesians 5:25-31
Tuesday: Wives submit to your husbands
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wednesday: Children obey your parents
Ephesians 6:1-3
Thursday: Follow peace with all men
Hebrews 12:14
Friday: Render to all their dues
Romans 13:7, Matthew 22:15-22
Saturday: Love God and others
Matthew 22:36-40, 1 John 4:19-21