Central Thought:
The home of the believer should be a haven of peace.
Text: Colossians 3:12-13; Ephesians 5:25-31; Proverbs 31:10-27
Introduction:
A home does not simply refer to a building or just a house. We can define a house as a building to be inhabited by human beings. While a home ca be said to be a house where people live together as a family and each of them has a sense of belonging and all are working towards making it a very conductive and peaceful habitation. The home was the first institution established by God in the Garden of Eden. A typical home is made up of the husband (who is the head of the home), the wife (who is the home builder), the children and others who may be staying there at any given point in time. God’s expectations is that the members of the home will nurture it to become a delight to Him. For this to be effectively achieved, God has assigned roles to every member of the home. It is only in fulfilling our God-given roles that we can effectively turn our houses into homes into homes where God will be welcomed. It will be a great honor and privilege on our part as believers if Christ finds our homes suitable for Him to visit. Christ was a regular guest in the home of Mary, Martha and Lazarus in Bethany (Luke 10:38-42; John 12:1-2). In this study, we shall be considering the unique responsibilities of each member of the home and how they can through performing their various roles, make their home a place that others will look up uo as a model to emulate.
Lesson Objectives:
1. To know the people that make up a household.
2. To discuss God’s expectation for the Father, husband, in the home.
3. To discuss God’s expectation for the Mother, wife, in the home.
Bible Truth:
1. Who are the people that make up a household?
A household is one made up of the man (husband/father), the woman (wife/mother), the children and others who may be living with them at any given point in time. The fact that children have not yet been born by to a couples does not mean that theirs is not yet a home. Children are God’s blessings and addictions to the home and arrive at God’s own time. All members of the home are working together towards a common goal to make their household a place of joy and happiness.
2. What is God’s expectation for the father / husband in the home?
God has a great expectation for the father / husband of the home. His headship and leadership position in the home places a lot of responsibility on him. It is only in the effective fulfillment of his God-given roles, that his household can be turned into a home. These roles include among others the following:
- Quality Leadership (Genesis 18:18-19) – Husbands/Fathers should give quality leadership in their homes. This authority was entrusted to them by God and it is their responsibility to account to God how they have led in their homes. They must lead by examples. The Bible tells us that the man is the head of the home. The Christian man must have a firm control over his home by leading in the fear of God. God testified of Abraham: “For I know him that he will command his children and household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgement…”, Genesis 18:19. Can this be said of you as the leader in your home?
- Love (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29; 1 Peter 4:8; 1 Corinthians 13:4-7) – One of the major responsibilities of the husbands is to love their wives and others in the home. “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for it”, Ephesians 5:25. This love should be unconditional and not based on whether the recipient deserves it or not. God’s love for us is unconditional. “But commendeth His love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us”, Romans 5:8. The love of the fathers/husbands towards members of their household should also be unconditional and at all times. It is only by so doing that they can truly manifest the love of Christ that has been shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us (Romans 5:5).
- Priestly role in the Home (Job 1:5) – The husband is to play the role of a priest in his home. He must ensure that there is a family altar in the home which he must preside over on a daily basis. In addition to this, God expects that he should uphold all the members of his home in prayers daily and also teach and lead them in the things that pertain to the Kingdom. This he can accomplish through regular teaching of the Word of God, prayers and other spiritual exercises geared towards building them up “…unto a perfect an, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ”, Ephesians 4:13b.
- Forbearance (Colossians 3:12-13, 21) – Fathers/husbands must learn to be patient and forbearing in dealing with the members of their various households. They should learn to over look faults but rather correct in love. This will greatly endear them to the members of their households. However, it should be stated here that they must remain firm and resolute when it comes to issue that border on righteousness, holy living and morality. They should never give in to compromise of their faith.
- Protection – The husband/father being the head of the home should endeavor to protect his wife and children as much as possible from imminent danger in whatever form and dimension. It should however be noted here that true and complete protection and safety come from God to those who are right with Him and are dwelling in His secret place (Psalm 91:1).
- Honor (1 Peter 3:7) – Husbands should consider their wives as treasures given to them by God. They should love and honor them, recognize their talents and appreciate their efforts. The Scripture demands that wives be treated tenderly. “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”, 1 Peter 3:7.
- Provisions (1 Timothy 5:8) – As much as possible, the man should provide for his home. God expects every man to provide for the upkeep of his household. The Scripture says that if any one does not provide for his household, such a person has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel.
- Appreciation of Wife and Children -Husbands must endeavor to appreciate their wives and commend their efforts and contributions towards the progress of the home. The husband of the virtuous woman praises her and declares “there are many fine women in the world, but you are the best of them all”, Proverbs 31:29 TLB). Children should also be appreciated by their husbands/fathers, for their contributions in the home.
3. What is God’s expectation for the mother/wife in the home?
God’s expectations for the mother/wife of the home are many and clearly stated in His Word. It is only in the effective fulfillment of her God-given roles that she can turn her house into a home. These roles include among others the following:
- Submission (Ephesians 5:22-23) – The Word of God enjoins women to submit themselves unto their own husbands as unto the Lord; submissiveness of the wife should not be a matter of mere outward from but of inner attitude. Being submissive to one’s husband should not be based on whether he qualifies for it or not. It is an injunction given to the wife by God. It should be noted here that submissiveness does not imply servility. If a wife for instance perceives that her husband’s decision concerning a matter is wrong or unwise, she should be able to tell him with respect, but freely and honestly. The wife should never usurp the authority of the husband in the home no matter the circumstance or situation (e.g. whether she is older than the man or earns more income than the husband).
- Virtuousness (Proverbs 31:10-27) – God describes a good wife/mother as a virtuous woman. There are many character traits that should be prominent in the life of a virtuous woman. These are briefly discussed as follows:
- Trustworthiness (Proverbs 31:11) – The virtuous woman’s husband must be able to trust her absolutely. She must conduct herself in such a way that her husband reposes an entire confidence in her. Her lifestyle and conduct should not give any room whatsoever for suspicion.
- Hard Work (Proverbs 31:13-14) – Hard work should be the hallmark of the wife/mother in the home. She must not be idle but should work with her hands to ensure that adequate provision is made for her household. She must do this willingly and cheerfully too. She contributes in no small measure towards meeting the needs of the home.
- Home-maker and builder (Proverbs 14:1, 31:15) – She must have a firm control over her entire household. She is often referred to as the “home-maker or builder”. Therefore, it is her responsibility to see to it that the home is built up in the love and fear of God. Every member of the home should be made to have a sense of belonging, all working for the mutual good of everyone in the home.
- Hospitality (Proverbs 31:20; Romans 12:13; 2 Kings 4:8-17; Genesis 18:1-14) – One of the attributes of every believer especially a woman should be hospitality. There are many examples in the Scriptures of women who showed hospitality to strangers. “Be not forgetful to entertain stranger: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares”, Hebrews 13:2) She must be willing to receive and entertain strangers in her home without complaining or murmuring.
- Self Control (Proverbs 31:26; 15:1, 16:24) – “But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control…”, Galatians 5:22-23 TLB. As we can see from the Scriptures, self control is a fruit of the Spirit. The mother/wife of the home must exhibit self control through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. Only words that are pleasant and edifying should proceed from her lips. “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones”, Proverbs 16:24.
Daily Living Application:
God’s desire for us as His children is that our homes be ideal and sen as a haven. This can only be achieved through the effective fulfillment of their God-given roles by all members of the household. It is the responsibility of every Christian family to ensure that they turn their houses into homes. Can this be said of your household?
Memory Verse:
Ephesians 5:21 – “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”